Health-conscious Adventurer Gifts

A large lady is exploring the jungle as two cougars watch on - 'Remember what the doctor said Ralph... regular exercise and no fatty foods!'

"There's nothing wrong with my eye. It's a nicotine patch."

Would it hurt to blow my top once a week?

'I don't know why you treat this trip as a major excursion, Mavis? I'm only going to the doctors' to get my ears syringed!'

Skipping lunch and walking around let me lose 10 pounds and find out what people do around here.

Safe Sunbathing: 'And you're sure there's no risk at all?'

'It has my horoscope, heart rate and cholesterol level...but I'm sorry, I don't have the time.'

New, slimmer, trimmer look in kangaoos.

"Arrr! This X marks the buried treature and this X marks a safe social distance!"

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Anti-inflammation recipes

Sisyphus Sawyer

International House of Excrement

Scales

'New Barbeque.'

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

Motivation to Keep Fit.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

Lactose intolerance.

"Well the good news is that everything was supposed to be bad for you is actually good, but the bad news is that everything that you thought was good for you is actually bad."

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

"We can address the underlying problems ... or ... you can keep your head in the sand."

"Is it working?"

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

'I don't care if we mostly eat protein - on a hot day like this I have a craving for ice cream.'

"Why have you brought me here?"

"Every time I go near the refrigerator, my fitness app somehow locks it. I think they're both conspiring against me."

Spa. The fitness trainer said I've been letting it hang out for too long to just tuck it back in.

'When you put on a new nicotene patch you're supposed to take the old ones off!'

At Travel Agent - "We're interested in a no-diarrhea itinery."

Obese Hansel and Grettle

"More protein? How about some veggies once in a while?"

'His snacks and his meals are beginning to OVERLAP!'

'I've discovered a new diet. I can eat as much as I like but I'm not to swallow.'