Health Conscious Explorer Gifts

'You have potential, but you need to lose some weight.'

"Yes, you can take your earrings off if you think that would help,"

'We've given up sugar in tea,coffee and puddings.'

Lactose intolerance.

'As your weight-loss counselor, I must advise you to stop thinking of eating as a hobby.'

Aisle 3; 300 - 500 calories per serving.

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

Scales

Deep in the Heart of Texas: The Cholesterol Kid.

Ed finally had to admit that his body was less of a temple and more of a worn-out parish church with a bouncy castle out front.

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

Odd Spas

"Well the good news is that everything was supposed to be bad for you is actually good, but the bad news is that everything that you thought was good for you is actually bad."

"I'd consider taking out this appendix you'renot using and greatly expanding your kidney area."

"We can address the underlying problems ... or ... you can keep your head in the sand."

'With the price of petrol, I had to take on a second job to pay for the petrol to drive to my first job!'

"It's got everything: northern exposure, hardwood floors, central tree."

"Is it working?"

A man's health care options.

A large lady is exploring the jungle as two cougars watch on - 'Remember what the doctor said Ralph... regular exercise and no fatty foods!'

Sir, we have plenty of fine herbal tea for you to sample...but you're drinking the potpourri.

No. 83 In A Series OF Extraordinary Unlikely Events.

'Are we nearly there yet?'

Clearly, you've been burning the candle at both ends, Mr. Fusco. You have the wick of a man twice your age.

"Arrr! This X marks the buried treature and this X marks a safe social distance!"

''Why, I feel as light as a feather,' thought Shirley, 'I don't think I'll go on that diet, after all!'

'Well, don't look at me!'

"Cautious and considerate? Door on the left, one mask each. Selfish and ignorant? Door on the right, do as you please."

Wow, a thousand-year-old artifact! What a discovery! 2019. Wow, a patch of land not buried in thousand-year-old useless artifacts! What a discovery! 3019.