Health Consciousness Explorer Gifts

Deep in the Heart of Texas: The Cholesterol Kid.

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

Running

Wash your hands

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

Ed finally had to admit that his body was less of a temple and more of a worn-out parish church with a bouncy castle out front.

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'Two Aspirins'...'Brain Tumor'

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

'Must you always point out my floss?'

Lactose intolerance.

"Scientists have found out that drinking alcohol can be dangerous...well, water can be dangerous, too!"

"Spring is in the air but it's December in my ABS."

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

A man's health care options.

No. 83 In A Series OF Extraordinary Unlikely Events.

'Test results are back. Coffee, donuts, sleep deprivation. Doc, you've got to start taking better care of yourself.'

Sir, we have plenty of fine herbal tea for you to sample...but you're drinking the potpourri.

'Oh now that is just wrong.'

"We're very green here, we recycle everything."