Healthy Choice Explorer Gifts

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet.

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Before/After

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

Deep in the Heart of Texas: The Cholesterol Kid.

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

Ed finally had to admit that his body was less of a temple and more of a worn-out parish church with a bouncy castle out front.

Attack of the 'health' foods

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

Nutritional Supplements.

"All these vitamins and nutrients, plus it makes it own sauce! We should be eating this!"

"Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is PERFECT for them."

Odd Spas

Lactose intolerance.

"I'd consider taking out this appendix you'renot using and greatly expanding your kidney area."

"Cardiac day patients?"

"Hey guys, I'm thinking about going vegetarian."

'The good news is that our latest diet products work fabulously well. The bad news is that we haven't got any customers any more!'

"We've gone glutton-free."

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

A man's health care options.

Sir, we have plenty of fine herbal tea for you to sample...but you're drinking the potpourri.

No. 83 In A Series OF Extraordinary Unlikely Events.

Clearly, you've been burning the candle at both ends, Mr. Fusco. You have the wick of a man twice your age.

'He's saying 'Enough bananas - I'm also a carnivore'.'

"Ding dong bell, Pussy's into wellness."

''Why, I feel as light as a feather,' thought Shirley, 'I don't think I'll go on that diet, after all!'

'Cool snack, Tommy! My folks are into health foods too!'

'It was cheaper and less painful than a Gastric Band procedure...'