Healthy Lifestyle Explorer Gifts

'I think your overdoing the pineapple juicing!'

'I finished the whole months' diet in just five days!'

'20% of medical opinion may change every five years...but it won't be the 20% that says smoking 20 a day and being 5 stone overweight is bad for you!'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"I think you put too much healthy food in our smart refrigerator. It's about to spit it all out."

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

"If he didn't live each day like it was his last, he would have lived another 40 years."

Attack of the 'health' foods

Ed finally had to admit that his body was less of a temple and more of a worn-out parish church with a bouncy castle out front.

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

Lactose intolerance.

"Chef took the liberty of removing all the additives."

"Cardiac day patients?"

'It says, 'If you want more fiber, eat the package.'

'Of course he's an actor. When was the last time you saw a kid enjoy something that was good for him?'

'The good news is that our latest diet products work fabulously well. The bad news is that we haven't got any customers any more!'

'You're eating all the wrong food.'

Books or Junk Food.

'If you want your diet to work, you're going to have to take the wheels off your refrigerator.'

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

Academy.

'Don't worry. His diet's only last a day or two.'

Popeye Switches to Kale.

Sir, we have plenty of fine herbal tea for you to sample...but you're drinking the potpourri.

No. 83 In A Series OF Extraordinary Unlikely Events.

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

Women in grocery store contemplates high and low calories.

"Ding dong bell, Pussy's into wellness."

'Keep arguing about eating you spinach and Mummy won't be able to guarantee your health and safety.'