Healthy Lifestyle Enthusiast Gifts

Popeye Switches to Kale.

'Of course he's an actor. When was the last time you saw a kid enjoy something that was good for him?'

'...And now a special message from the Surgeon General... eat your vegetables.'

"Would it help if I ate a salad?"

'I lost twelve pounds.'

For Jim, the first few days after he quit eating junk food were the hardest.

"There are rumours going round that you have a home lift."

The It Tastes Like Cr*p Because Its Healthy Cafe

"My wife wanted to live a healthier life....so she ran away with a green grocer."

'The sound advice fortune cookie' - 'Don't eat this cookie. It's deep fried.'

'Apparently, it takes jacks or better to open.'

Women in grocery store contemplates high and low calories.

'Just be thankful that you've got your health.'

'Another diet - are you trying to get rid of me or what?'

Fast food refridgerator.

'He said diet and exercise.'

'If you want your diet to work, you're going to have to take the wheels off your refrigerator.'

'Cheer up...Get out and enjoy Mother Nature...watch out for Mother Witch.'

'Believe me, even though you wallow all day, if you watch what you eat, you'll still have low cholesterol.'

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

"Your contents have shifted."

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

Studies show foods work miracles!

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'