Healthy Lifestyle Aficionado Gifts

'You've made wonderful progress,Miss Pritchard.'

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

Be Healthy

"Your contents have shifted."

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

Studies show foods work miracles!

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

'Your reflexes are still good!'

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

Queen of Quinoa

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'We're all out of flu vaccine - how about something for anxiety...?'

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

'It's the only known prevention for swine flu...Big bad wolf serum...'

Corona Funeral