Seasoned Driver Gifts

New Slush Plan

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

'So much for your new Satnav!'

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

Doug fights back at soaring gas prices.

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

Some cars need a backseat steering wheel.

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

Better times ahead.

Stop, Smell Roses (stop and smell the roses)

Lady about flat tire: 'It's not too bad - it's only flat on the bottom.'

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

Exit Next Left

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

Just drive in small circles, then drop me off by that bush. Poober.

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

"Remember, when you back up, make that 'beep beep' sound."

"I'm pretty sure my self-driving car is moonlighting for Uber behind my back."

'God's speed.'

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

Lady to man in netted car: 'Stinkin' speed trap.'

"Yeah, a merry Christmas to you too."

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

Do you ever wonder if there's really a higher power? What do you mean? Is there an all-knowing being that keeps track of you? That always knows where you are