Seasoned Driver Gifts

New Slush Plan

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

'So much for your new Satnav!'

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

Some cars need a backseat steering wheel.

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

Lady about flat tire: 'It's not too bad - it's only flat on the bottom.'

Stop, Smell Roses (stop and smell the roses)

Better times ahead.

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

Exit Next Left

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

"Remember, when you back up, make that 'beep beep' sound."

'God's speed.'

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

"Even my chauffeur has a chauffeur."

"Yeah, a merry Christmas to you too."

Lady to man in netted car: 'Stinkin' speed trap.'

Caution: ironic literal proverb ahead (fork in the road)