Professional Driver Gifts

'WHOOOEEE! How's that for some fancy driving!?'

Motorway Services - "It's good to unwind after all that driving."

'You're going 65 miles-per-hour and your coffee is dangerously hot.'

Driver Showdown

'Hey, you just cut me off!'

Good drivers can interpret every sound their vehicle makes.

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

'So much for your new Satnav!'

Doug fights back at soaring gas prices.

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

Some cars need a backseat steering wheel.

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

Lady about flat tire: 'It's not too bad - it's only flat on the bottom.'

Better times ahead.

Stop, Smell Roses (stop and smell the roses)

"You must be the newly qualified driver."

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

Just drive in small circles, then drop me off by that bush. Poober.

Exit Next Left

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

'God's speed.'

"Remember, when you back up, make that 'beep beep' sound."

"I'm pretty sure my self-driving car is moonlighting for Uber behind my back."