Seasonal Joke Teller Pillows

"You say snowman, I say snow woman. So, let's compromise by singing 'Frosty the Snow Person'."

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

“Hey Everyone! It’s the first day of Fall! Okay, you go first!”

"No, Doris, not implants!"

"I love November - the crunch of leaves underfoot... the crisp air... the holiday markets..." "... it getting dark by mid-afternoon..." "Okay, that's less enjoyable."

"We're freaky February hares, the mad march ones have vanished due to global warming."

Just because I'm adapted to the cold, doesn't mean I like it!

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

"I love this time of year."

"So, are you predicting an early spring?"

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

'It's a snow mobile.'

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

'Relax, it's purely a seasonally affected disorder.'

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

"Uh oh. The almanac indicates an early fall - here's a back-to-school on page one!"

He'll never melt. I made him from fast food milkshakes.

'Son, you're old enough now to know, there's no such thing as Christmas.'

"Sorry Ma'am, but lamb delivery is only available in Spring..."

"You've got to learn to let go."

"Did you get some work done?"

"Don't you love the smell of burning leather boots this time of year?"

Christmas Socks

Minnesota Weather.

Snowman Romance

"We've decided to cut back and have Christmas every other year."

'So is this your lazy days of summer, or are we still working on spring?'

'I love crocuses. They seem to defy the winter snow to let you know spring is coming.'

"Fruitcake?""I'm stuffed."