Seasonal Grump Gifts

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

A guide to seasons in the North East

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

"He was a grouch when I met him. It was love at first gripe."

You have the worst spring breath.

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

'Misery is sleeping in late on Saturday morning then realizing it's only Wednesday...'

'I hate surprises!'

I am coffee and I need more coffee

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

"I much prefer the evening milking to the morning one: The farmer is not a "morning person", now is he?"

Buzz. Go away. Buzz buzz. I'm up! The alarm clock always wants it more than you do.

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

'If you get one who refuses to wake up, pour it in his lap.'

The morning show for people who HATE mornings

I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I hate everything in the morning.

"Are you sure you want to spend the winter here?"

"Dang it."

Alarm clock.

'Quick, shut the door! The flu!'

'Please don't say a word to me until my coffee gets right...about...here.

"He just woke up from hibernation."

Time stood still – which made it an easy target.

"Mummy's a bit grisly in the mornings. But after something to eat and a little nap, she's quite pleasant."

"And a 'good morning' to you, too"

"I told the carol singers where to go in no uncertain terms, so that's saved us some money!"

'Sounds like someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.' 'Ahhhhhh!'

"And to my brother, who I promised to mention in my will, 'Hi Grumpy'!"

'Honey, remind me why we switched to decaf.'