Seasonal Grump Gifts

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

A guide to seasons in the North East

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Did you use mouthwash this morning?'

"He was a grouch when I met him. It was love at first gripe."

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

'Misery is sleeping in late on Saturday morning then realizing it's only Wednesday...'

I am coffee and I need more coffee

'This may be the only time I'll ever bring you breakfast in bed - So wake up!'

"I much prefer the evening milking to the morning one: The farmer is not a "morning person", now is he?"

'Bonny, I've forgotten...What time is that 9 o'clock meeting tomorrow?...'

I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I hate everything in the morning.

The morning show for people who HATE mornings

"Are you sure you want to spend the winter here?"

'If you get one who refuses to wake up, pour it in his lap.'

"Dang it."

'Quick, shut the door! The flu!'

Alarm clock.

Time stood still – which made it an easy target.

"And a 'good morning' to you, too"

"Mummy's a bit grisly in the mornings. But after something to eat and a little nap, she's quite pleasant."

"I told the carol singers where to go in no uncertain terms, so that's saved us some money!"

"He just woke up from hibernation."

'Please don't say a word to me until my coffee gets right...about...here.

'Honey, remind me why we switched to decaf.'

"And to my brother, who I promised to mention in my will, 'Hi Grumpy'!"

The sounds of spring.