Grump Enthusiast Gifts

Fussbudget 1989

Whine Country Tours.

'You can always count on Walter to make the worst of a good situation.'

"Mostly, he was just puttering, but now he's also muttering."

'Do you know what I like about being sourpuss? I don't have to smile!'

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

"Your father's in a good mood. He's declined 3 friend requests this morning."

"Harold doesn't believe in smiling."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"He was a grouch when I met him. It was love at first gripe."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

'I hate surprises!'

Grumpy old merry men.

'Life is like a box of chocolate laxatives!' - Forest Grump

"You have the Hum bug.'

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A Garden Part 2

Grumpy Old Men

'Kids get right up my nose!'

"Mummy's a bit grisly in the mornings. But after something to eat and a little nap, she's quite pleasant."

'Self-help books for cynics'

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

"And to my brother, who I promised to mention in my will, 'Hi Grumpy'!"

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

Helen's husband is an old grump, too.

Uncle Murray Weekly

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

"Is everything okay, dear? You're smiling!"

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

"Everything okay, Wilson?"

'It's like a penalty shoot-out, only when it's my turn the ball morphs into a balloon!'