Seasonal Care Gifts

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

Easter Egg Delivery

'Actually, I was thinking more in terms of a temporary position.'

"Oh, as long as he needs you, Santa's a great guy. But once things slow down and he wants a little vacation time with Mrs. C., it's 'goodbye North Pole, hello crappy temp job!'"

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

"We're out of bags."

"Take a shower first. You smell like a chimney."

"Maybe this year..."

"Really, yes, I'm on a diet too: I need to almost double my summer weight before the start of the winter hibernation..."

'I'm looking for something, like, 364 days a year.'

Poinsettia

"I might let the window box lay fallow, this season."

A woman buries her broken heart

Rudolph is at bar speaking to a patron-'So he asks me if I'll pull his sleigh and I'm like-'Not until I get that backpay you owe me fatso!' '

"But, can he support you on what a store santa makes working one month a year?"

Post-Season's Greetings: 'Y'know...a month ago, everyone was all, 'Let me buy you a drink, Santa!' Now suddenly it's, 'Who's the little weirdo in the red suit?'...'

"No man should have to work on Christmas every year!"

"You only work 1 day a year. You can't call in sick!"

"Check out this app. It let's you substitute other vegetables for your nose."

"It's springtime in our new product department."

This time of year always gets me down."

Bed Bugs after a materess flipping

Cold Call

"They just keep falling. It's as though they're mocking me with their hideous persistence. I know they hate me, hahaha! You'll all be sorry..." "Leaf insanity"

Winter depression.

'He won't start up on cold mornings.'

Man trying to blow last leaf from tree.

Help Wanted

Food production

"Do you think it's time to switch from the blower to the mower?"