Seasonal Care Pillows

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

'My purse! The original 24-hour pharmacy.'

Easter Egg Delivery

'Actually, I was thinking more in terms of a temporary position.'

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

"Oh, as long as he needs you, Santa's a great guy. But once things slow down and he wants a little vacation time with Mrs. C., it's 'goodbye North Pole, hello crappy temp job!'"

"Take a shower first. You smell like a chimney."

"We're out of bags."

"Maybe this year..."

'I'm looking for something, like, 364 days a year.'

Poinsettia

A woman buries her broken heart

"Really, yes, I'm on a diet too: I need to almost double my summer weight before the start of the winter hibernation..."

"I might let the window box lay fallow, this season."

God's Kitchen

Rudolph is at bar speaking to a patron-'So he asks me if I'll pull his sleigh and I'm like-'Not until I get that backpay you owe me fatso!' '

"But, can he support you on what a store santa makes working one month a year?"

Who's ready for pumpkin spice season?

Larry's Lawnmower Service. Relax, he comes in every spring to get his blade sharpened.

Post-Season's Greetings: 'Y'know...a month ago, everyone was all, 'Let me buy you a drink, Santa!' Now suddenly it's, 'Who's the little weirdo in the red suit?'...'

"You only work 1 day a year. You can't call in sick!"

"No man should have to work on Christmas every year!"

During the winter I shovel snow. In the spring I mop the mud. In the summer I sweep up dust and during fall I rake leaves. In the theater of the seasons, I'm always a member of the cleanup crew!

"Check out this app. It let's you substitute other vegetables for your nose."

"It's springtime in our new product department."

This time of year always gets me down."

Bed Bugs after a materess flipping

Cold Call

"They just keep falling. It's as though they're mocking me with their hideous persistence. I know they hate me, hahaha! You'll all be sorry..." "Leaf insanity"

'He won't start up on cold mornings.'

"Sorry! There's been some mistake. It's elves we're looking for!...Elves!"

Man trying to blow last leaf from tree.

Help Wanted

"Do you think it's time to switch from the blower to the mower?"