Seam Whisperer Gifts

Man having trousers mended

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

I quilt therefore I am

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

Knit One, Pearl One, Drop One.

My other cello is a Stradivari

Violin Practise

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

Man and Machine snoozing

"Have you seen that sweater that you crocheted for me?"

'Silent type, eh?'

"Can you help me? I'm having a little trouble working the shredder."

'Ever notice how when Dad snores the whole house shakes?'

'I gave her that ball of yarn...'

Happy Violinist

Granny Wear

The Gallery Guard Unravelling the Wool of a Jumper on a Painting, Creating a Nude.

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

"Stinking politicians and their dirty laundry!" "That's Bob. He's watching 'CSPIN', again."

'I need a new toy!'

'I'm knitting you sweater... do you want it too big or too small?'

Stitch one, pearl one...

"Blimey, he's not the sharpest tool in the box, is he?"

Don't have nightmares!

'I love your crocheted computer cover darling, but can I take it off now?'

Cello player has an audience of cats.

'Noise? When you've been married as long as I have, it goes in one ear and out the other.'

"Don't get any ideas. It's a sweater, not a scratching post!"

Haircuts

"I wasn't talking in my sleep. I was negotiating."

'In Case of Swarm, Break Glass.'