Thread Whisperer Gifts

"It's a lot of work, but a quilt lasts forever."

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

I'm trying to read your test results from urology, but their server can only stream them a little bit at a time.

Knit One, Pearl One, Drop One.

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

"Do you swear to calm the jittery financial markets, all the jittery financial markets and nothing but the jittery financial markets, so help you God?"

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

Man and Machine snoozing

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

"Have you seen that sweater that you crocheted for me?"

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

'Right here is where your imaging data is clogging up all of your bandwidth.'

"Can you help me? I'm having a little trouble working the shredder."

'I gave her that ball of yarn...'

Granny Wear

The Gallery Guard Unravelling the Wool of a Jumper on a Painting, Creating a Nude.

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

'Stocks fell on the perception that stocks would fall on the perception that stocks were falling.'

KNITEO ERGO SUM!

'I'm knitting you sweater... do you want it too big or too small?'

'I see you have a stock market/body connection.'

'Boy, are the markets getting sensitive, anymore.'

"Blimey, he's not the sharpest tool in the box, is he?"

Stitch one, pearl one...

Plug Me In Stupid

"You say there's a dip in the market?"

"The downside of living in the wild is that I need to shear myself now. Boy, do I now appreciate the skill professional shearers have: it's hard!"

"Go! Go! Go! Go!" The hot video game where you're a peacemaker who disarms everyone in sight and sells them on the virtues of nonviolent communication.

"I can't keep giving you stock tips. The SEC has been making 'insider trading' inquiries."

'I love your crocheted computer cover darling, but can I take it off now?'

'A few rules for new investors: First never say 'kaching' until the market is up...'