Seagull Sympathizer Pillows

'I told you not to feed the seagulls, Dear!'

Seagulls

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

''What's in the bag, lady?''

"Jeepers, I didn't know anything could gets so hot!"

"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

Angry Squirrel Can't Get to the Bird Table.

'It says here that later in life they were able to patch things up and became best of friends.'

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

It was a perfect day, until a squirrel stole his sandwich and ruined everything.

'Look...it's almost empty! Those pesky birds need to quit stealin' the food out of this squirrel feeder!'

Jonathan Bugsy Seagull

'I don't want bread crumbs. I'd prefer some money to buy a cheeseburger.'

"I thought they only used the ink for protection..."

Seagulls landing

'We must be nearing land. It's a discount coupon from the island's mall.'

Of all the seagulls, Simon was a shoe-in for the silliest...Oh that's just terrific. And how are we supposed to get off here now?

"You get the french fries, I'll get his wallet."

"After the Great Seagull Reincarnation, we'll spend eternity stealing sandwiches and defecating as we please."

Meet the Author of 'Fishing is Easy'!

A dog getting neutered.

Common predators of the grey squirrel.

Another Timmy Pet Fail!

"The question is. Do you remembere where you buried your feelings?"

Seagull food pyramid

"Sean, are you teasing the seagulls again?"

"Whatever you do, don't make eye contact."

"Whoa. I gotta go. Cars are coming and it's my turn to run across the road."

"Just give him the chips, Doris. We were warned that the seagulls around here are aggressive feeders!"

What's your question for Ask Sadie? What's the most humane way to get squirrels out of my garden? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time one of my ancestors had a similar question. Ironically, she was a spunky flying-squirrel-like creature who prayed to the great acorn to do something about the triceratops that kept stomping her magnolias. My advice: Go great-acorn on those squirrels!!! Did that really happen? It's family lore! I don't question it!

"I'm Colin and I steal chips."

"You were warned, Albert."

"It's not you, it's me. I mean, come on, I'm a freaking sea urchin!"

Yap yap yap yap yap yap yap. If that's the neighbor's dog, I'm not here.