Sculling Schooler Gifts

'He's sculling...how ironic.'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'I really crammed last night.'

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

'If history keeps repeating itself, why do I have to repeat this class?'

"If something that doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, then I should be Atlas!"

'We'll send you to acting class when you're older. For now, get up and get ready for school.'

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

To lessen the strain on their backs, many students are opting for the new Velcro shirts.

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

Romans.

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

Cocoa. Make it a double. Sure, Myles. Coming up. Here ya go. Double today; everything okay? Oh yeah, sure. What's not okay about realizing 3rd grade means a whole bunch of homework and Sally Anne Peters wanting to talk about feelings? Tell me all this weirdness ends soon. Triple on the house.

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

'You failed your Latin exam! But Sweety, it's important to learn Latin: All your friends' names have Latin roots...'

'If you don't have schools on your planet we'd like to go with you!'

"Don't pull any wisdom teeth. I need all the help I can get in school."

'Ok, class, let's take attendance. Joey?'

"Man! I haven't slept at all since school started!"

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."

Student to kid: 'School first, then Mount Everest.'

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

"Welcome to Truancy Prevention 101."

'If I keep bringing diseases home from school, maybe I shouldn't go to school.'

'I'm not enjoying my childhood, I'm dealing with it.'

Social distancing

'I must be growing up. I've caught myself washing my hands without being told to.'

You're awesome, Larry! When that teacher said 'there are no dumb questions'...you sure proved HER wrong!"

School of Fish

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

'My brother is going to stay with a family in France, and a French boy is coming to stay with us. Did you know your parents could exchange you?'

"What a day. I played tag, a yucky girl kissed me, and I got the school's computers back online."

'I just can't take the eraser bits, the spit balls and the insults anymore!'

I just can't take it anymore!