Scavenger Scholar Gifts

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

"Unfortunately, what you downloaded from the net is a ten-year-old paper I once wrote for my college boyfriend!"

Book Thief in True Crime Department

"It all comes down to the aging and fermentation process."

"Right, I'd better go...corpses on't pick themselves clean y'know!"

'Would sir like to start with the hors d'oeuvres, or just go to the main corpse?'

'Is that some kind of a cruel joke? They're not dying, they're turning into Zombies!'

Vegetarian restaurant: 'Two vegetarians please.'

Oculist.

Gone Lecturin'

'After the wizard gave me the brain,of course, I felt like I should use it.'

'Bob, I think I hate people.'

"AWW! We ALWAYS do a scavenger hunt!"

'Ugh, a contact lens. I wish he'd had corrective surgery because I hate artificial ingredients.'

"I'll trade you a banana peel and an apple core for two fish heads."

"Arr...Here must be the spto where the treasure's buried! Start diggin'!"

"I'm the Nigerian Prince that emailed you. I got concerned when I never heard back."

'I haven't eaten kosher in ages.'

State University Research Lab into the Jitters and HebbieJeebies.

"It looks like we'll die as we lived, Warren...birdwatching."

"I was motor-home-schooled."

Carrion Helper

'Maybe you just got a hold of something fresh.'

"The generic term for this is "roadkill" son, as, more often than not, we can't identify what it is: tuck in!"

'They're at the bottom of the garden for scraps again!'

'Hey Dad. I made a scavenger hunt, want to play?'

Two members of the lower class being polite