Scroll Aficionado Gifts

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'

Book

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"Meet The Author"

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

'Read any good Apps lately?'

Twister:Rural Social Networking

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"Nice, but as long as there are readers there will be scrolls."

'According to this, you owe $57.32 in late fees for the book 'Getting By on a Shoestring Budget'.'

"Your appendix is fine. It's your glossary I'm worried about."

"'C' is for free CONTENT!"

'How about having at least one character who's alive and wearing clothes?'

'It doesn't take much to please him these days.'

'Publshing Books for Dummies.'

Hollywood producer.

"You'd be angry, too, if your alter ego was a successful physician."

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"Sure, this camp has swimming, games, fishing, horseback riding and rock climbing. But, does it have Wi-Fi?"

Romans.

The joy of sects.

'Do you have this in a smaller size?'

"You can't blow out the candles. You're rolled."

"Great money scenes!"

"That news you're reading is 24 hours old. I can get it 23 hours and 57 minutes sooner online."

Bibliomaniac

Richard Hughes.

'Oh no...I'm living the dream.'

"I refuse to answer on the grounds that it may tend to hurt sales of my 'tell-all' book."

'...and do you solemnly swear to update your facebook status to 'married'?'