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'Scroll down for the good stuff!'

Book

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"Meet The Author"

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

'Read any good Apps lately?'

Twister:Rural Social Networking

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

"Nice, but as long as there are readers there will be scrolls."

"Your appendix is fine. It's your glossary I'm worried about."

"'C' is for free CONTENT!"

"You'd be angry, too, if your alter ego was a successful physician."

'It doesn't take much to please him these days.'

'Publshing Books for Dummies.'

Hollywood producer.

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"Sure, this camp has swimming, games, fishing, horseback riding and rock climbing. But, does it have Wi-Fi?"

Romans.

'Do you have this in a smaller size?'

The joy of sects.

"That news you're reading is 24 hours old. I can get it 23 hours and 57 minutes sooner online."

"Great money scenes!"

Bibliomaniac

Richard Hughes.

"I refuse to answer on the grounds that it may tend to hurt sales of my 'tell-all' book."

'Oh no...I'm living the dream.'

'Yes, the colours are wonderful. But he only does five pages per month, and he doesn't support PostScript.'

Telling Self to Buzz Off