Script Skeptic Gifts

"I graduated from film school,but you don't see me trying to make movies!"

'They all want to play the star.'

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

Hollywood producer.

'Personally, I love your script, but Rex is pretty certain he smells a bomb!'

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."

Eugene Ionesco

Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."

"I have to ask you a few questions. I've written a screenplay. Would you read it?"

"What are they complaining about?... The local content is the audience...

"He's left a suicide screenplay."

"That script of yours - I've never read such a load of cliched second-rate crap...It'll make us rich..."

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

'A series based on made-up stories with actors following scripts? Preposterous.'

Dear Diary

Woody Allen

"I’ve gotta tell you, there’s a lot of demand for a sequel."

Hollywood Think Tank

Scrip Doctor

"The character I'm playing has Alzheimer's disease. So, I'm bound to forget my lines occasionally!"

"And here - take this Vin Diesel monologue with you!"

"I don't get it. I'm playing a legendary jazz musician and the director keeps telling me to stick to the script and stop improvising."

"If Neil Simon's going to keep writing them, we're going to keep seeing them."

"No, Barbara, this wouldn't make a great 'Seinfeld' episode!"

"Just got the script from the focus group. Fabulous!"

Subtitles for the Stupid

"Sure, it's a little formulaic but I love it!"

Great script, great cinematography, great everything. But the whole 3D thing is lost on me.

Directors Chair and Others.

Write a Screenplay