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"If you kids want to grow up to be writers, it's time we give you something to write about."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

Instructional guide to scribbling

The transparent safe box of Panama

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

'Is this any way to treat a budding genius?'

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

Meet the Shameless Self-Promoter 2 PM

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

Writer's Block Party

'Don't be hard on the boy, dear, I'm sure that Van Gogh's first sunflowers weren't so hot.'

Empty landscape containing food and stationery.

"I'm afraid he's right-there's nothing in here about slobber balls."

'Pencil for Cartoonists.'

'He's part Great Dane and part couch potato.'

'I see a VERY important note from your doctor. Unfortunately, I can't read her handwriting.'

Writer’s Corner

'Of course this scribble doesn't make any sense. Why do you think the critics call it an intellectual masterpiece?'

"It's the worst case of writer's block Sidney has ever had. He hasn't put a word on the page since fifth grade!"

"Would you like to squiggle here something that no-one in a MILLION years would be able to read!"

That night, Rose found out that her husband was not only a sleepwalker, but also a sleepblogger.

"He writes all the time - OK, so it's mostly in the margins of library books. . ."

Kate Atkinson

"How many times have I told you not to watch the news before bed?"

'I'm afraid we can't accept you as a medical student, your handwriting is far too legible. '