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"If you kids want to grow up to be writers, it's time we give you something to write about."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

Instructional guide to scribbling

The transparent safe box of Panama

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

'Is this any way to treat a budding genius?'

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

Meet the Shameless Self-Promoter 2 PM

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

Writer's Block Party

'Don't be hard on the boy, dear, I'm sure that Van Gogh's first sunflowers weren't so hot.'

Empty landscape containing food and stationery.

Now that I've written the book, could you put in a good word with the sales team's muse?

Congress today convened a special panel to study use of illegal performance enhancing drugs on the senior Scrabble tour. Members of Congress expressed outrage that such a national pastime could be sullied by fiber doping. Their anger led to an angry exchange with one witness. Hey Congress, here's a four-letter word … Turn off her mic.

"I'm afraid he's right-there's nothing in here about slobber balls."

'Pencil for Cartoonists.'

'He's part Great Dane and part couch potato.'

'I see a VERY important note from your doctor. Unfortunately, I can't read her handwriting.'

Writer’s Corner

'Hey! We can play Scrabble while we eat!'

'Of course this scribble doesn't make any sense. Why do you think the critics call it an intellectual masterpiece?'

"Would you like to squiggle here something that no-one in a MILLION years would be able to read!"

"It's the worst case of writer's block Sidney has ever had. He hasn't put a word on the page since fifth grade!"

That night, Rose found out that her husband was not only a sleepwalker, but also a sleepblogger.

"He writes all the time - OK, so it's mostly in the margins of library books. . ."

Kate Atkinson

"How many times have I told you not to watch the news before bed?"

'I'm afraid we can't accept you as a medical student, your handwriting is far too legible. '