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'Of course this scribble doesn't make any sense. Why do you think the critics call it an intellectual masterpiece?'

"How do you expect me to read your book report? It's chicken scratch."

'Don't be hard on the boy, dear, I'm sure that Van Gogh's first sunflowers weren't so hot.'

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

'How do i know what it's about? - I can't read yet!'

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

Biro Winter Warm-Ups.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

Instructional guide to scribbling

Raheem Sterling

'You could do that.' I did

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

Man, I could destroy a chocolate donut with sprinkles right now

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

'Is this any way to treat a budding genius?'

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

'To you it's wine, to me, it's my writer's block vaccine.'

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

'Two men having a sword fight with large pen and pencil.'

Empty landscape containing food and stationery.

Now that I've written the book, could you put in a good word with the sales team's muse?

Bring it on, Scrabble nerd! Want to tell him directly? What do you mean? There's a chat function so you can taunt other online Scrabble players. Just type in your insult and hit send. Have I died and gone to heaven? The internet. And I suspect it' met its match.

Outline; Introduction, Body, Conclusion.

A Double-Dip Recession with Sprinkles

Yeah, yeah, yeah - tell my editor the fables are almost done, and she'll have them as soon as

'How God invented polish'

Museum Guard Portrait

"You may enter, doctor, if you can read this prescription."

"You're losing your everything."

Writer’s Corner