Screw Aficionado T-Shirts

"But you told me to invest more money in the product of screws!"

Screw plastic surgeon.

"He loves his leaf blower."

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

CLEAR!

A crab with a utility knife claw

"So, how did the audition go?" "Great! I really nailed it."

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

'10,000 years and no one's improved on the idea of meat on a stick!'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

'He agreed that she might have a point.'

"I hear you've got friends in high places...?"

'There, THAT tree won't bother anyone anymore!'

"Dad needs a Phillips screwdriver. Who's Phillip?"

"I can now fetch anything you want - on Etsy."

Beavers worshipping a chainsaw.

Pollsters

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

The strong Canadian dollar is bad for the Canadian exporting manufacturers.

"Everything you need for self-assembly."

'Any day now I'll fix the roof.'

Men's Prayer Group.

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

'U.S. Manufacturing'

Builders.

'How often does the boss visit the plant?'

"The instructions state that some anger, frustration and confusion is expected."

"A drone is hovering over the plant. Find out if it's from OSHA!"

'No. I haven't always been a lawyer.'

'Guess what? I fixed your jack-in-the-box.'

Carpenter