Assembly Aficionado T-Shirts

'The directions were easy to understand...until you got past step 2.'

"Some assembly required."

Christmas gift requiring assembly.

' . . . and a surplus screw for the heck of it!'

"The instructions state that some anger, frustration and confusion is expected."

In the 1856 poem "Maud Miller," John Greenleaf Whittier famously wrote "For all the sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: 'It might have been!'" I disagree with this, and believe Mister Whittier would see things differently if he was alive now. Living in today's world, the saddest words are "Some assembly required."

'Apparently, it's already assembled.'

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Lovely dovetail."

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

"Hey, I just consider myself very fortunate to be getting paid for something I'd be doing anyway."

Now if we can just figure out how to use this to power that.

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

Crane fishing

'She must be good at mixing cement - She's been making rock cakes for years.'

Moses and the bridge.

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

Hmm, now that I see it, I think I like the dam back where you put it before.

"I hear you've got friends in high places...?"

Folding Container.

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

"I can now fetch anything you want - on Etsy."

'No wonder it was so hard to assemble. I thought it was supposed to be a basketball hoop, not a weapon of mass destruction.'

"Just so you understand in advance - we're not old-time craftsmen, and we don't take pride in our work."

"I can't find the instructions."

The strong Canadian dollar is bad for the Canadian exporting manufacturers.

'U.S. Manufacturing'

Screw plastic surgeon.

'We're starting to build our own house. How much is this two by four?'

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

'I need a green house built ASAP.'

Bakery. The smell of freshly baked bread is the only truly perfect man-made thing on earth.