Screw-cap Connoisseur T-Shirts

I like a screw-cap for the convenience, but I like a cork for

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

Theatre Crowd

"The door-to-door sales rep was very persuasive, but in my defense he only sold me one."

"Dad needs a Phillips screwdriver. Who's Phillip?"

Screw plastic surgeon.

Behind the cow is a manure castle. 'Yeah...It's a gift.'

Bagging the Chipmunk

For the War Inventions Board. The Armoured Bayonet-curler for the Spoiling the Temper of the Enemy's Steel

'Uh-oh! It's the pun police!'

"Like a grind stone cowboy!"

Sewing A Christmas Dress.

Craft Floss

"Sure he's still Mr. Right, Beth? Up there in that Bluejays cap?"

"Everyone who cares about you is here, Frank, because we all feel it's time you quit wearing your baseball cap backwards."

How to Avoid Tears when Peeling Onions

'One day, this will make a wonderful metaphor.'

To warm up touch your toes twenty times. No way! My cap will fall off!

Anti-Litter Machine

She's just too practical!

"We call it that because Pastor Dave is always aware of kick-off time."

"All you are is a pedal and a cable which helps me change gear. One day, you'll break and be useless."

Every day Fred had to make sure he was properly prepared for his job as a social media moderator.

Cat muggers wait for a fisherman.

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" is not a nice thing to say.

'It's Jack's homemade Merlot - care for a scoop?'

"It's about this smart T.V. that you sold me, it won't let me watch Love Island."

"But you told me to invest more money in the product of screws!"

"Y'know, you CAN'T just keep sweeping stuff under the carp forever."

"I've looked everywhere and I can't find what I need, so I'm making my own."

Each one respresents another honor.

"I'm making a candlewick spread, so how do I get the wicks out?"

"Welcome Gentlemen, to the screwtop focus group..."

Oh great. They're all females and my equipment only uses males.