Surgery Aficionado T-Shirts

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

'Yes, the cutting open part is necessary. It's standard operating procedure.'

"Some like to keep them as souvenirs, some don't."

'Laser Surgery While You Wait.'

Surgeon: Wow! Now That's Gross.

Surgery has bin in corner labelled: Squiggly left over bits.

"Yes, I do believe a transplant is in order. I suggest you call the nursery first, dear."

"Hold it - we gave the baboon Mr. Krumway's kidney."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

'I cause sneezes.' 'I cause fever' 'I cause that 'I don't know- I just don't feel too good' feeling.'

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

Medical Examinations.

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

'Yessir, I just finished my first spay...but how did you know?'

'You do Botox?'

Body Building

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

Pediatrics: Anatomy

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

"What should we do with this extra part?"

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

Jumble Sale

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

'Well, I'll be...look at this...there's a song in his heart!'

'Ahhh . . . he's got your original nose.'

Anatomy.

'Just remember, you're not alone - I'm scared to death, too.'

Anatomy.

'She had a boob job halfway through the sitting!'

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery