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Surgery.

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

'Is there a chance you will die under the anaesthetic? Well, that is the killer question.'

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

'Yessir, I just finished my first spay...but how did you know?'

Body Building

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

"What should we do with this extra part?"

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

Anatomy.

'Well, I'll be...look at this...there's a song in his heart!'

'Just remember, you're not alone - I'm scared to death, too.'

'The doctors ruled out a remarkable recovery. You'll get better, they just don't think it'll be all that remarkable.'

Anatomy.

'I've been fixed even though there wasn't anything wrong with me.'

"Well, we saved this attorney. Some poacher shot him and removed his highly-prized fin."

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

He really puts his heart into it!

"Remember the hierarchy of competence - see one, do one, teach one, become a regulator."

'I knew there was another book in him!'

"Sorry Mr. Parkinson, but I've left some rubber gloves inside you. I need to open you up to retrieve them."

'He really put his heart into it.'

'Laser Surgery While You Wait.'

"Sorry, Bob, those are the rules– you drop the kidney, you give them yours."