Screenplay Fan Gifts

Andy Hamilton

Herman Mankiewicz

The Fourth Little Pig

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

Saint George and the Drag Queen

"Bloody hell!"

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

"Can you believe you left your job and family to search for this key, and it was under here the whole time?"

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

"Bram Stoker's Bambi"

"Recalculating route..."

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

Moby Dick

This side is the gag reel.

Malaprop Man! Adventures. Malaprop Man! Where have you been? At a stupor her comet confection! Did many of your fellow heroes show up? We had a great turnabout! Backman and the Incredible Bulk were there! So was Caption Americ, the Flush, Wander Woman and Plasterman! Very impressive. Who was the most popular with the fans? I think I was the main distraction! I have no doubt at all about that!

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

Quentin Tarantino

"Hey, Bob. Things haven't been quite the same since Richard Attenborough arrived here, have they?"

Ask A Silly Question.

'You say it's a dramedy? We thought it was more of a coma.'

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'

"I see you've flown around the world in a plane, and settled revolutions in Spain. Around a golf course you're under par. Metro-Goldwyn has asked you to star. Very impressive, I must admit, but we're looking for someone with marketing experience."

'It's a horror-comedy.'

Sylvester Stallone

"Now all we need is a good script."

Romulus and Remus

The mission: Impossible burger.

Puss in Heels

'No sequel? No movie version? Just read me the big money makers like 'Harry Potter'.'

"Well, how was I supposed to know you were saving them for something special?"

"I have to ask you a few questions. I've written a screenplay. Would you read it?"

Dr. Strangelove, D.D.S.

I want to be a lawn!

Irvine Welsh