Screen Time Survivor Gifts

"Darling you look so beautiful I can hardly keep my eyes on the phone."

"This insanity app is really driving me crazy."

MR. CRENSHAW, TIME FOR OUR TELECONFERENCE

"It's the latest internet challenge, 30 mins no screen time."

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Proud of herself for "never owning a tv" Emily watches eight episodes of a mediocre tv show on her laptop while in bed.

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"You really ought to cut down on your scream time."

"You are still here."

"Of course I'm bored - my batteries are flat!"

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

Child hooking into a television

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

"I'm being punished. I have to stay out of Wi-Fi range for an hour."

"Can you spare a few megabytes of your precious time?"

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

Kids and Mobile Addictions

"No. I've never had any problems with my kids not paying attention to me."

"Kids, look at the weather! Why don't you play outside?"

A bull which has seen red.

"This is Jim's second speech on how not to make people mad by talking on your phone. I missed his first speech."

"and when they woke up, the kids discovered that the house had just one 19", black & white TV that only got... 3 channels."

DVD Video Rental. I rented "Shampoo" and "Private Benjamin". Neat .. A couple of olden Goldies.

ALMOST SLEEPING BEAUTY

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

What'r We Doing Today, Daddy?

"He's feeling neglected. Should we text him?"

Facebook's business model

'The pain in your eyes is from too much TV. The pain in your arm is from too much base-ball and that other pain is from too much home-work.'

How Staring Contests Change

'I don't know why mom wanted us to play outside.'

... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.

"Those are the basic necessities of life? Aren't you forgetting something?"

"Cruel punishment – they took away my smart phone. I had to watch TV."