Screen Time Critique Pillows

"He wanted to be buried how he lived his life."

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

Digital Fomo!

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"You really ought to cut down on your scream time."

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

Cellphone Islands

Proud of herself for "never owning a tv" Emily watches eight episodes of a mediocre tv show on her laptop while in bed.

'Shhh... It's babies app time.'

“If I start pressing these, I’ll never ever ever get out of here.”

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

Tunnel of TV

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

"Of course I'm bored - my batteries are flat!"

"You are still here."

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

"Now that we have these Earthlings in our power, we can take over this planet!"

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.

"This is NOT what I meant when I said you kids could have more screen time."

Child hooking into a television

nstead of looking at fish bowl, a kid watches the fish on TV as they are being video taped.

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

"I'm being punished. I have to stay out of Wi-Fi range for an hour."

"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."

New hyper-realistic Star Trek

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

"No. I've never had any problems with my kids not paying attention to me."

"Kids, look at the weather! Why don't you play outside?"

Some days Ted's head would get stuck for hours.

"This is Jim's second speech on how not to make people mad by talking on your phone. I missed his first speech."