Screen Saboteurs Gifts

"You kids need to be more productive, so I decided to cut the cable."

Woman leaves a stick of dynamite on her weighing scales and runs away

"Here - I've no use for spreadsheets where I'm going."

"Mom, what's the password to access dad?"

Internet Restaurant

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

"Croissants? Donuts? Chocolate? Good price, madame! Good price!"

'I've decided to get serious about losing weight. I moved the refrigerator out of my bedroom.'

... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.

'LIAR!'

"See, this is why you sleep through my 4AM water calls - too much blue light at bedtime."

'That website has been blocked.'

"I'm going somewhere without cell service because I'm incapable of turning my phone off myself."

"What's this garbage?"

"Joseph's jealous brother adds bleach to the coat of many colors wash."

Family separated by the Internet

Dietitian: Weighting Room.

"How's the diet going?"

'I've decided to help you diet. I had invisible fencing installed around the refrigerator.'

"Look, I'm really having trouble with my computer. I need it to work and I need it now...and your fancy schmancy jargon isn't helping much."

'Still at a plateau, Mrs Johnson?'

'You know sooner or later they'll notice you've replaced your monitor with a portable TV.'

Screen Addiction

Dangerous dinghy...

'Well one of us need to watch him, otherwise he's liable to take somebody's eye out!'

Destroying Music Speakers.

Fridge with sign - 'Contents may not be suitable for those with weight problems'.

"You know those eyeballl rotations you do to relieve computer eye-strain...don't do them in front of customers"

"Bikes! I said bikes! Hello? Hello? Dang! My battery's dead!"

"I live life on the ragged edge. Why, just this morning I left my iPhone at home. On purpose."

Cellphone Addiction

Slimming Club: Sweets Detector.

"It was an indisputable case of self-defense."

Even Bob's deathbed confession was lame.

Video games and conventional games