Screen Escapists Gifts

"I'm going somewhere without cell service because I'm incapable of turning my phone off myself."

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

"That's you nomad's answer to everything...ROAD TRIP!"

"I don't know what in blazes it means either, but just to be safe we'll put extra men on watch tonight."

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

They all thought they'd be astronauts...instead they're all accountants.

Virtual Lap Dancing

"The thing about society is that it gives me such anxiety..."

"It's a weak pilot, but, if your stick with it, by Season 3 you grow completely numb to the show's quality and just keep hitting Next Episode."

"I'm skipping that movie and waiting for the theme park ride."

'I realize this has been your favorite camping spot since you were a kid...but it's just not the same with all the construction over the years.'

'We're being offered a two-week vacation on a tropical island.'

Overworked colleague calling the Samaritans.

Family separated by the Internet

American Idle

"It's amazing. I hear some of them can endure the same boring, pointless positions for years on end!"

Did Mitch Dream about his office in Barbados, or did he dream about Barbados in his office?

A people-meter family out enjoying the calm night breezes while claiming to be inside enjoying a rerun of 'Falcon Crest.'"

And now sit back and enjoy nature as you've not seen it before...

'Inner-city kids in search of a butter life.'

"You know what I like about L.A.? We don't have to be interesting anymore."

'I slaved at a computer for years, then one day I hit 'escape,' and - POOF - I found myself here!'

"That film broke all records for keeping that key 16 to 39 year old demographic distracted from reality."

"Yes, this is technically a line. But when I said I wanted to be 'online' all day, this isn't what I meant."

"He abandoned his computer, his pager, his cell phone, his hand-held pilot, his on-board navigation system and for one hour, we were blissfully disconnected."

"Don't Look At it! It's A Listicle!"

"Any luck?" "No, I can't get a wifi signal, either."

"Hey, what's the chance we can get some cable TV in here?"

"Another boat! But I mustn't yell or risk breaking character."

"Believe me, I've lost more than my mittens."

"I'm going on a digital-detox, any idea how to stop my online friends from contacting me?