Visual Escapists Gifts

Caution: Perspective malfunction ahead

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

'Let's get a kitty.'

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

"The thing about society is that it gives me such anxiety..."

Virtual Lap Dancing

'I keep wondering what they're saying about us at the bank this cold,damp,Monday morning..'

'I realize this has been your favorite camping spot since you were a kid...but it's just not the same with all the construction over the years.'

'Maybe we could liven things up by getting a hub airport.'

Family separated by the Internet

"There's apparently another one of those rescue ships coming to take us back to civilisation. . . quick, let's hide!"

"I'm going somewhere without cell service because I'm incapable of turning my phone off myself."

"3....2....1.....Coming, ready or not....."

"It's amazing. I hear some of them can endure the same boring, pointless positions for years on end!"

Ramblers Association

'So, Mr. Ross, you want us all to believe this murder was just a 'mistake'? Come on, Bob. Don't you really mean a 'happy little accident''

Prison Paintings

"You know what I like about L.A.? We don't have to be interesting anymore."

'Inner-city kids in search of a butter life.'

'I slaved at a computer for years, then one day I hit 'escape,' and - POOF - I found myself here!'

"Fancy a game of Dungeons and Dragons?"

"He abandoned his computer, his pager, his cell phone, his hand-held pilot, his on-board navigation system and for one hour, we were blissfully disconnected."

"Don't Look At it! It's A Listicle!"

"Any luck?" "No, I can't get a wifi signal, either."

'You're a genius Carlisle.'

Ear Muffs - ".. and with your two weeks in Ibiza, you get a free pair of these."

"I'm passing thru a school zone...let me call you back from a land vine."

'Back home, it's probably Happy Hour now!'

Excess Baggage: Many people who go on cruise vacations insist on a cabin with an ocean view.

"Believe me, I've lost more than my mittens."

Caution: Bridle Path

Man in straight jacket paints his own padded cell.