Modern Escapists Gifts

Virtual Lap Dancing

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

Tree house.

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

"That's you nomad's answer to everything...ROAD TRIP!"

'Let's get a kitty.'

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

"The thing about society is that it gives me such anxiety..."

Houdini 2019

'I realize this has been your favorite camping spot since you were a kid...but it's just not the same with all the construction over the years.'

"Hey, it's the scouting virus! It doesn't affect your pc, it just makes you want to go camping!"

"There's apparently another one of those rescue ships coming to take us back to civilisation. . . quick, let's hide!"

"Anywhere that doesn't have tvs, computers, radios, ipods,cell phones or video games."

I've got no cell phone, no computer, no grumbling wife, no stupid boss. Feel free to envy me.

"3....2....1.....Coming, ready or not....."

"It's amazing. I hear some of them can endure the same boring, pointless positions for years on end!"

Did Mitch Dream about his office in Barbados, or did he dream about Barbados in his office?

"You know what I like about L.A.? We don't have to be interesting anymore."

'So, Mr. Ross, you want us all to believe this murder was just a 'mistake'? Come on, Bob. Don't you really mean a 'happy little accident''

'Inner-city kids in search of a butter life.'

"It's rustic and undiscovered, but you'd better hurry."

'I'm not a guru. I came up here just to get away from electric power lines.'

'Fishing in the West.'

Oh, you and your flattery! You must have kissed the Blarney Stone! I was in Ireland. I was lonely. I'd rather not talk about it.

"Siri, lead us in song."

'You're a genius Carlisle.'

"Life is what happens when you're not online."

"Well drained, sheltered and flat. We'll camp here." "5 bars! We'll camp here!!"

'Al's been into catch and release for years, but it's not on a voluntary basis.'

Honeymoon Suite.

"This Excuse App knows everything about you, so it makes up great excuses to get you out of anything!"

COVID Roll In The Hay

'Back home, it's probably Happy Hour now!'

"Believe me, I've lost more than my mittens."