Humorous Escapists Gifts

"Believe me, I've lost more than my mittens."

Holiday time.

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

"I don't know what in blazes it means either, but just to be safe we'll put extra men on watch tonight."

"That's you nomad's answer to everything...ROAD TRIP!"

'Let's get a kitty.'

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

As you like it - One way of catching fish

Virtual Lap Dancing

"The thing about society is that it gives me such anxiety..."

'I realize this has been your favorite camping spot since you were a kid...but it's just not the same with all the construction over the years.'

Fish get smart.

"3....2....1.....Coming, ready or not....."

"There's apparently another one of those rescue ships coming to take us back to civilisation. . . quick, let's hide!"

"It's amazing. I hear some of them can endure the same boring, pointless positions for years on end!"

"Without question, you're a big improvement on our last tour rep."

"You know what I like about L.A.? We don't have to be interesting anymore."

'So, Mr. Ross, you want us all to believe this murder was just a 'mistake'? Come on, Bob. Don't you really mean a 'happy little accident''

'Inner-city kids in search of a butter life.'

Oh, you and your flattery! You must have kissed the Blarney Stone! I was in Ireland. I was lonely. I'd rather not talk about it.

Ocean Views

"Have you seen Joey?"

'You're a genius Carlisle.'

"Life is what happens when you're not online."

Honeymoon Suite.

'Back home, it's probably Happy Hour now!'

Excess Baggage: Many people who go on cruise vacations insist on a cabin with an ocean view.

COVID Roll In The Hay

You're all smiles today, little buddy. What's up? The Hololens. What's a "Hololens"? Goggles that project holograms and computer interfaces on top of everyday things. Next time I'm sitting on a crowded bus and someone's rump is right in front of me, I can turn it into a tv screen. Or play solitaire on it. I've been waiting for this tech my whole life. Can I project smiles onto the grouchy?

Caution: Bridle Path

Palm tree made of books.

"No, we do not wish to live with a family and learn to speak Serbo-Croatian."

Caution: Perspective malfunction ahead