Safety Saboteur Gifts

Dangerous dinghy...

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"We'll get there when we get there!"

'You don't think you're just a tad overprotective?'

"Remember, when you back up, make that 'beep beep' sound."

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

"Not enough money is being spent on safety, so be careful."

'Here are the safety manuals you wanted'

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

Woman leaves a stick of dynamite on her weighing scales and runs away

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

'Do you ever get this weird, primitive yearning to sit behind a large block of wood?'

"Warning! Not to be used as a life saving device."

Maybe next tiime you'll hand in the risk assessment on time

Turtle crashes, deploys airbag.

"Ideally we're keen to go somewhere that they're not trying to kill us."

"I'll have a gluten-free, hypoallergenic vegan cookie with whipped hand-sanitizer topping."

Big bumpers.

Laboratory- risk assessor

'I say we forget about these particular chickens...'

'I'm okay with this... I'm not a risktaker.'

"If your instincts tell you to go out in a shark infested ocean then go. My instincts are sending me to a nice little aquarium out in the suburbs."

'No, you cannot borrow the car.'

"You no longer have to worry about me dropping my phone. The new phone comes with an airbag."

Fireworks Stand: 'Safe, but INSANE Fireworks.'

'I'm taking a poll. Do you feel safe in your own home?'

A man on a beach looks at a sign in front of the water that reads "No swimming beyond this point".

'When it comes to our Boef flambe safety is paramount.'

'LIAR!'

'Dont' operate any rocks or sticks while you're using this medication.'