Strategic Saboteur Gifts

'I'd like you to go work for our competition. It's the only way I know to bring them to their knees.'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

Woman leaves a stick of dynamite on her weighing scales and runs away

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

'I've decided to get serious about losing weight. I moved the refrigerator out of my bedroom.'

"Personally, I don't think the company's CEO and CFO should be making decisions by rock- paper-scissors!"

'LIAR!'

'And this is our strategic planning department...'

'I don't get it...Our business model was exactly the same.'

On the Eve of his epic defeat by 'Deep Blue', Garry Kasparove awoke to an ominous warning,

"Putting a steak, chicken wings and potato chips on a salad kind of negates the eating healthy concept."

"Joseph's jealous brother adds bleach to the coat of many colors wash."

All Eggs in One Basket world headquarters

Chess boxing

Dietitian: Weighting Room.

Nothing Personal: Gifts for your business adversaries.

"We always take one piece out."

"How's the diet going?"

"I didn't see you at camouflage practice today, soldier!"

'Shred any negative documentation I made on our new sales strategy.'

'Still at a plateau, Mrs Johnson?'

'I've decided to help you diet. I had invisible fencing installed around the refrigerator.'

'You mailed my wife a pre-approved credit card, so now I have to kill you.'

Destroying Music Speakers.

Dangerous dinghy...

Fridge with sign - 'Contents may not be suitable for those with weight problems'.

'I'll give step by step directions.'

'That's not bad. But most of the other consulatnats gave us mission statemens with more detail.'

"And here we go folks! He's got to remove that first slice of pie all in one piece."

"My company uses a copycat strategy."