Sandwich Saboteur Gifts

You look like the cat who ate the canary. Actually, I'm the wolverine who ate your leftover prosciutto hoagie.

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

Honest Vending

A Club Sandwitch.

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

Deliboys

"Aww geez... peanut butter and jellyfish again."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'Bacon-butties are my favourite!'

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

Sandwich snob.

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

"We know you boosted that milk truck!" "Admit it or we'll take a bite outta you!"

"I'm a retired doctor."

"Croissants? Donuts? Chocolate? Good price, madame! Good price!"

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."

'I've decided to get serious about losing weight. I moved the refrigerator out of my bedroom.'

Plants to Avoid - Creeping Wallenda

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."

'You're in trouble. Your confidential memo went toxic and so did that tuna salad.'

I'd like it sliced thin for sandwiches.

For the Love of Peanut Butter

'Cheese.' - 'Cheese.' - 'Cheese.' - 'Cheese.' - 'Mum. Can I have something different in my sandwiches tomorrow?' - 'Okay.' - 'Cheese and pickle.' -

"I don't know what kind of sandwich you made, but we're out of cat food."

Peanut Butter and Jam Attack,

Gloria knows where you've been tonight, Lance. Apparently, that sandwich she made you for lunch contained salami, cheese, lettuce, tomato and a GPS tracker. !! !!

Carnegie Deli

"Ah, peanut butter and jelly! Looks like the pandemic stock pile of olive loaf has finally run out."

F&E Beachside Sandwich Shop. It's the final week for our bite-size summer special. We start with miniature frankfurters on a baguette. It's grilled and then cut into small pieces. And we add lots of dollops of mustard! That's your bite-size summer special? Yeah, they're itsy-bitsy, teenie weenie, yellow polka dot paninis!

"What would make it perfect, egg salad or pastrami?"

The doctor says I have man flu. - 'Did he give you any medicine?' - 'No. He said I should 'make the most of it'' - 'Eh?' - 'I feel soooo ill. Can you get me a sandwich?' - 'Gah!! Men are ridiculous' -