Sandwich Sleuth Gifts

"We know you boosted that milk truck!" "Admit it or we'll take a bite outta you!"

'Get forensic to check this ham sandwich is dead.'

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

'Hard to follow...'

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

Secret sweetie drawer...

'Lucky for us, there's a sucker born every minute.'

"Oh, there will be an investigation!"

'This is not Hungarian stew.' 'We ran out of Hungarians.'

"The bailouts are nice but my retirement remains finding drugs that washed up on the beach."

"Congratulations! For checking the fridge 30 times in under an hour, you've won something that you actually want to eat!"

'To attract the most talented spies we're changing our package . . . to jammie dodgers and a gobstopper.'

'If you haven't been taking your vitamins. What have you been doing with them?'

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

"Ah, peanut butter and jelly! Looks like the pandemic stock pile of olive loaf has finally run out."

"Hey! Wait a minute! We can't reach the doorbells!"

'Dinosaur footprints!'

'Surely you're not going to believe everything you see!'

'Mom, I swear it wasn't me! I didn't touch the cookies!'

Carnegie Deli

'Well you can tell Dr. Zimler that you don't have Dalnik's syndrome, and, in fact, I think you have Zimler's syndrome.'

'There's a lamb chop in my soup.' - 'Oh, that's where it got to. It belongs to table six.'

Waiter, there are tiny bubbles rising to the surface of my clam chowder. Conclusion" there's a flatulent fly in my soup. ? ?

F&E Beachside Sandwich Shop. It's the final week for our bite-size summer special. We start with miniature frankfurters on a baguette. It's grilled and then cut into small pieces. And we add lots of dollops of mustard! That's your bite-size summer special? Yeah, they're itsy-bitsy, teenie weenie, yellow polka dot paninis!

Paninis of the Old West

"They've checked the DNA and it's gingerbread."

'Keep an eye out for the cookie police.'

The doctor says I have man flu. - 'Did he give you any medicine?' - 'No. He said I should 'make the most of it'' - 'Eh?' - 'I feel soooo ill. Can you get me a sandwich?' - 'Gah!! Men are ridiculous' -

Paranormal tips: sandwiches with crop circles may lead to marmalade stains on trousers

'Pasta imposter' "Oi! You're not vermicelli, you're cheese string..bugger off!!"

'It's worth a try. I heard dad say there are thousands of cookies in this computer!'

'Ever noticed how triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones?'

A choice of sandwiches

"No leads yet, but we're still hoping for a break in the case"

He wants this old dog to learn new tricks? Watch me make his sandwih disappear.