Screen Addict's Worst Nightmare Gifts

"Do you have to mime looking at your mobile at the dinner table Marceau?"

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

Person with eyes focused on a computer screen.

"Don't open me, you fool!"

100 best beheadings

Bill glanced up from his computer. It was dark outside. He smelled of BO. A little voice inside his head whispered, 'you should probably log off now.'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

Child hooking into a television

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

Spooning

STRIP Hambone: Computer armageddon

'Anything good on?' TV replies 'No.'

"Your mind is somewhere else." "My mind is somewhere else."

"So, how's your scary movie?"

Addiction to mobile.

"You're the sport on my telly"

"I've looked at their viewer profiles and if we watch this channel we'll be 20 years younger."

'His idea of healthy living is going to the pub in his tracksuit.'

'Well I'm telling you we could have a perfectly fine holiday without it!'

'Norbert never mumbles names of other women in his sleep - only foods.'

Some days Ted's head would get stuck for hours.

"I'm exhausted! I've just binge-watched the entire series of 'Fresh Air and Exercise.'"

2001: A Space Odyssey - Updated

Wake up love it's time to go to bed!

'The ecosystem can fend for itself, but you're blocking the tv.'

'If you're going to stare at that thing all day, at least watch something educational,,, like Japan,'

What passes today for 'nose in a book'.

Our hero rounds the bases to the bathroom, refrigerator, cupboard and slides safely into home!

Soap Opera

'Thanks for tuning in - we'll try to pander to you.'