Science Geek Humor Gifts

Zika Epidemic

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

Extinction of the dinosaurs fully explained

Schrodinger's Black Box

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

She loves to play with string theory.

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

PET THEORIES

How Glaciations Begin

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

"Underweird bras."

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

"And what qualifications do you bring to the table beyond being first in line?"

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

The new Physics

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"...I think we've found the missing link!"