Quirky Science Humor Gifts

The Scientist

'I'm sorry but we can't trade your soul for a cure for the common cold. We don't have a cure for the common cold either.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'Teenagers!'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

Extinction of the dinosaurs fully explained

Schrodinger's Black Box

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

"You're calling it love, but it's really just static electricity."

She loves to play with string theory.

When bacteria trash talk to antibodies. Oh yeah?! You and what course of antibiotics?!

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

PET THEORIES

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

Cell Bar & Grill. Happy Hour All Day. The new owner is an endorphin.

How Glaciations Begin

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

It is said there is a black hole in the middle of the galaxy. But heaven knows what it looks like!

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

"And what qualifications do you bring to the table beyond being first in line?"

The new Physics

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"...I think we've found the missing link!"