Science Humor Gifts

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

'Sequencing? No, this baby tells us how much we can charge for genome data.'

"I collect molecules of hydrogen and oxygen. I keep them in this glass of water."

'So...your Bowel or mine?' / A male tapeworm using a pick-up line on a female tapeworm

Theory of Evolution - Revised and Updated.

'It's a comet . . . It's a big rock on your head.'

"Ever killed a man?"

"There it is! There's the evidence Mars once had a lake!"

'Except maybe the laws of physics.'

"Surprisingly, the soil samples provide new evidence for the 'giant ball of cheese' hypothesis."

'I've never sighted a flying saucer, but I've seen a satellite dish.'

"Is that it? Is that the Grand Unified Theory?"

'This is what happens when you mess about with nature.'

I can't help being self-conscious during an eclipse. It feels like everybody's looking at me!

Cat DNA is decoded.

Sunglasses - Perfect for normal sun, white dwarfs, red giants.

'Here, from the printout of my entire DNA: the gene for embezzling.'

'Morning-after Pill.' - with dinosaurs

I'm casting my eye over your application as we speak...

"It says that flatulence can prevent dementia."

Anthropomorphism Laboratory.

'Can you believe it? - This hayseed doesn't even know which GALAXY we're in!'

Quantum Breakup

"Oh please, go on, just for the weekend."

"Uncle Eddy was in an animal test lab for years. That's why he wanted to get buried wrapped in nicotine patches."

"No, that giant red spot on Jupiter isn't a zit."

"You got something against canines?"

Brain Tortoises

Static Caravan

"It is NOT an alien invasion. A moth landed on the lens."

"The weatherman is always wrong. It'll probably end up being meteor showers."

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Flan-eating bacteria

Schrodinger's Black Box

In the end, Pluto turned out to be a much smaller planet than originally thought.