Science Club Gifts

Overloaded with extracurricular activities, Griffin's body began to grow an extra brain to cope with it all.

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

Cheers For The Hollyhock Middle School Chess Team

'What goes up, must come down!' 'Not if you give it enough thrust, to send it flying forever across the face of the universe.'

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

Who should be the next eco-club president? The most vegan? The most carbon neutral? The most into solar? Eco-club. But we need someone who will attract kids to the environmental cause. Then it's obvious. The most popular. Or most athletic!

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

Now that we've developed lungs, it's only a matter of time before we feel guilty about not exercising.

'The grudge match.'

Goldfish evolution - "...it's called evolution and it means in a few years we'll walk right out that door."

Are you interested in UFOs? Advanced life forms? Free medical screenings? Alternative underwear? Snacks and refreshments? Non-sexual turtles? Reverse pound cake? Science? Join us.

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

"Look, until there's a Tinder for pandas, we have to meet the old-fashioned way: being locked in a room together by scientists."

Niche Extracurriculars

'Oh dear. My son's an evolutionary throw forward.'

'Alright, just this once. One, two, three, four, five...'

'Don't just stand there, get into focus!'

'We've created a teenager!'

'What it is is a giant kidney.'

'Things haven't been the same since the alien abduction.'

4-Panel: (1) 'Did you read this article on cockroaches?' (2) 'It says scientists have confirmed conditioned reflexes in cockroaches, just like Pavlov's dogs. I don't know if I believe that!' (4) 'What's for dinner?'

Science Journal. Editor. Ernie, we need a headline that will interest the general public in our artificial supernovas. "Big stars involved in nasty breakups"!

"When you think about it, you have to be a complete idiot not to believe aliens crashed at Roswell in 1947." "Before 1947: primitive cars, planes, and radio. After 1947: space ships, quantum computing, internet." "Let me try... Before 1947: no bikinis. After 1947: bikinis." "No, wait... The bikini was 1946. That throws this whole theory into question." "We really should have our own science show."

'The little twerps have me all discombobulated -- I was supposed to start an ice age 100 years ago!'

Can you help on our arts night for the environment? I'll be studying. Eco club. That's so short-sighted. I'm in 3 AP science classes. Someday I'll discover ways to organically eradicate pollution. Eco club. That's sooo long-sighted.

'It's always the same, isn't it, Dave?... Every time you spot a glitter ball!'

'Yeah, but would you want to have a beer with him.'

Pole Vaulting Club

Man's evolution to the Strip club.

The Croucho Club

'Whoa Hold up, You need to get you hand stamped,'

"Oh, we're not bouncers. We just can't fit through the door."