Science Club Pillows

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

Cheers For The Hollyhock Middle School Chess Team

'What goes up, must come down!' 'Not if you give it enough thrust, to send it flying forever across the face of the universe.'

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

'The grudge match.'

Goldfish evolution - "...it's called evolution and it means in a few years we'll walk right out that door."

Are you interested in UFOs? Advanced life forms? Free medical screenings? Alternative underwear? Snacks and refreshments? Non-sexual turtles? Reverse pound cake? Science? Join us.

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

"Look, until there's a Tinder for pandas, we have to meet the old-fashioned way: being locked in a room together by scientists."

'Alright, just this once. One, two, three, four, five...'

'Don't just stand there, get into focus!'

Niche Extracurriculars

'Oh dear. My son's an evolutionary throw forward.'

'We've created a teenager!'

'What it is is a giant kidney.'

'The little twerps have me all discombobulated -- I was supposed to start an ice age 100 years ago!'

'It's always the same, isn't it, Dave?... Every time you spot a glitter ball!'

'Things haven't been the same since the alien abduction.'

4-Panel: (1) 'Did you read this article on cockroaches?' (2) 'It says scientists have confirmed conditioned reflexes in cockroaches, just like Pavlov's dogs. I don't know if I believe that!' (4) 'What's for dinner?'

"When you think about it, you have to be a complete idiot not to believe aliens crashed at Roswell in 1947." "Before 1947: primitive cars, planes, and radio. After 1947: space ships, quantum computing, internet." "Let me try... Before 1947: no bikinis. After 1947: bikinis." "No, wait... The bikini was 1946. That throws this whole theory into question." "We really should have our own science show."

'Yeah, but would you want to have a beer with him.'

Pole Vaulting Club

Man's evolution to the Strip club.

"Oh, we're not bouncers. We just can't fit through the door."