Schoolyard Tycoon Gifts

"But it's helping me learn my math!"

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'I'm only seven years old -- I don't HAVE a credit rating yet!'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

"Recess does things to a man."

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

The Charge of the Kids

I miss recess!

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, NOW HIRING, 'Okay, you're hired -- now, I want you to forget everything you learned in pre-school.'

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

'Stewart, why is the handwriting on your mom's last two attendance notes different?'

'Billy takes his jungle gym seriously!'

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

"Mom, no more apples for teacher. It looks like bribery."

"I can't decide which I'd rather do- make a twenty-billion-dollar bid of turn down a twenty-billion-dollar bid."

'I don't know what made Ms. Doan think I was running in the hall.'

"Hi Ginny, that's a nice new haircut you've got there. Are you trying to be cuter than me?"

Kid sheltering from rain inside a vault box.

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

"I'd trade, but peanut butter sticks to my tongue stud."

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

"This is your portfolio. Fill it."

"Yes, it's report card time again."

Shadow

'Not a bad day. I started a phony company in computer lab, made a public stock offering over lunch hour and socked away fifteen million into an off-shore bank account before afternoon recess!'

'I would appreciate it if you don't call out in class.'

"What a day. I played tag, a yucky girl kissed me, and I got the school's computers back online."