Schoolyard Tycoon Mugs

"But it's helping me learn my math!"

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'I'm only seven years old -- I don't HAVE a credit rating yet!'

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

"Recess does things to a man."

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

Will eat your homework for $.

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

The Charge of the Kids

I miss recess!

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, NOW HIRING, 'Okay, you're hired -- now, I want you to forget everything you learned in pre-school.'

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

'Billy takes his jungle gym seriously!'

'Stewart, why is the handwriting on your mom's last two attendance notes different?'

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

"Mom, no more apples for teacher. It looks like bribery."

"I can't decide which I'd rather do- make a twenty-billion-dollar bid of turn down a twenty-billion-dollar bid."

'I don't know what made Ms. Doan think I was running in the hall.'

'No sir, we're not boarding a flight. My teacher just needs to check my homework in my my dog Sam here, if it wouldn't be too much trouble.'

Littletown High School. And that's where Bubba Parker stomped me

Kid sheltering from rain inside a vault box.

"Hi Ginny, that's a nice new haircut you've got there. Are you trying to be cuter than me?"

Wow, you're right! Your mom's regurgitated worms are way better than my mom's!

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

Shadow

"Yes, it's report card time again."

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

"This is your portfolio. Fill it."

"I'd trade, but peanut butter sticks to my tongue stud."

'Not a bad day. I started a phony company in computer lab, made a public stock offering over lunch hour and socked away fifteen million into an off-shore bank account before afternoon recess!'

'I would appreciate it if you don't call out in class.'