Schoolyard Campaigners Gifts

I'm running for student council president, so could you keep quiet about the time that I kissed you last year?

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

'It's a tough call but I'm going to side with your parents, if for no other reason, because they can sue and you can't.'

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

"She's the best nit nurse this school has ever seen."

Will eat your homework for $.

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

I rule by fear.

I miss recess!

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

'Stewart, why is the handwriting on your mom's last two attendance notes different?'

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

'I don't know what made Ms. Doan think I was running in the hall.'

We pride ourselves on having every type of insurance policy, but report card insurance is a new one to us.

"Mom, no more apples for teacher. It looks like bribery."

'Boasting bumper stickers.'

Littletown High School. And that's where Bubba Parker stomped me

Kid sheltering from rain inside a vault box.

'It's someone from the Society for Ethical Treatment of Principals asking for a donation.'

'No sir, we're not boarding a flight. My teacher just needs to check my homework in my my dog Sam here, if it wouldn't be too much trouble.'

'If the key to effective classroom management is consistency, I guess I'm an effective classroom manager, I am consistently exhausted at the end of the day.'

Kid to class: 'I'll read my book report in a minute, but first, a word about our underpaid teachers ...'

"Let's have refreshments on parents' night. These people need nourishment."